McDonald’s Announces New McSlender Menu Thanks to Tapeworms

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Oak Brook, Il- McDonald’s is introducing their new “McSlender Menu ” to the three cities with the highest obesity percentages in the United States: Huntington-Ashland, Ohio, McCallen, Texas, and Haggerstown, Maryland. According to McDonald’s, they are offering the new McSlender menu so that customers may continue to enjoy traditional McDonald’s food, without having to worry about putting on a few extra pounds.

The McSlender menu is almost everything offered on the value menu, but with the addition of the body slimming ingredient: tapeworms.

Donald Thompson, CEO of McDonald’s Corporation, says he understands that tapeworms have a “bad rep ” and that he hopes to change public opinion about tapeworms all together.

According to Fao Ze Mounii, head scientist hired by McDonalds to oversee the tapeworm operation, these tapeworms have been genetically engineered to safely exit the body through the intestines and out of the rectal cavity within 12 hours.

“We really think this could be big. We ‘re hopeful and excited,” he added.