Tiger Woods Has Shaky Start at PGA Tournament; Blames It on a ‘Really Hot Girl in the Audience’

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Rochester, NY – Professional golfer, Tiger Woods, is off to a slow start at the PGA tournament being held in Rochester this week.

The golfer shot an unimpressive double-bogey yesterday on the last hole. Although he still has a few days left to rebound from this poor performance, Woods noted that he may have some more trouble as the tournament continues.

“I noticed this really hot girl in the audience on the last hole and got totally distracted,” the golfer said in an interview after the game. “It would be really great if they didn’t allow any good-looking girls on the course for the rest of the tournament.”

PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem responded to this request, saying, “There’s not much we can do to accommodate the effects of Tiger’s raging sex drive, but we’re going to try convincing the uglier girls to stand up front.”