Study Shows 70% of Domestic Abuse Is Caused by IKEA

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Armoire

Boston, MA – A recent study done at Harvard University showed some very unfortunate results. Jake Richards, a Criminal Justice student, wanted to do his thesis on domestic abuse and the cause. What he found out was something he never expected.

The Chicago native interviewed different police chiefs, doctors, and psychologists across the country, all who had all dealt with domestic abuse. Although none of the subjects were allowed to disclose any names or any other personal information, they all told Richards that the majority of the cases were from fights over assembling IKEA furniture.

Richards was extremely happy to turn in his thesis. Not knowing how dark it would get, he plans on going on vacation with his girlfriend after graduation and trying to forget about everything he’s learned over the past few months. He plans to move in with his girlfriend after they get back. They plan on getting furniture from anywhere else.