Pope Francis Diagnosed with Heart Disease after Three Days in America

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Washington, D.C. – The leader of Catholicism is currently on a small tour around the United States, where he is meeting with politicians, congressmen and women, and his followers. The progressive Pope is bringing his kind and gentle attitude and solutions to Americans, trying to get them to open their eyes to what’s going on around them and learn of different solutions to things like immigration and overseas policies.

Pope Francis has spent his first few days in the nation’s capital and will be spending the rest of his time in New York City and Philadelphia. While in the country, the 266th Pope has planned some touristy and American-like activities. In his downtime, he has already visited the National Zoological Park in D.C. and he plans on catching a Yankees game in New York and visiting different locations that It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia has been filmed. Although eating some Philly Cheesesteaks were on his list for his trip to Pennsylvania, the Pope will probably just be eating some quinoa and salad; that is if he makes it to Philadelphia.

Pope Francis has only been in the country three days and has already been diagnosed with heart disease. After eating fast food and other greasy meals on his trip, the Pope collapsed at a conference earlier today. He has been in the hospital since and might have to cut his trip short.

“I mean, it makes sense,” Dr. Kalborg told us. “Here is this guy eating fresh, organic, healthy food his whole life and he comes here and is introduced to the horrible food we have in our country.” The doctor went on to tell us that Pope Francis should be alright, but eating what he ate basically gave him a massive heart attack and now the Argentinian has heart disease.

We’re pushing for the Pope and we hope he makes a full recovery and can finish up his tour in the states.